Reflection of Project Echolocation via Post-Community Service Worksheet

1. Rate the success of your service / project on the scale below:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

(very unsuccessful) (very successful)

1. Why did you give it this rating?

The event was generally a successful one not just for me, but also for HCJC. Overall, the event had indeed fulfilled its purpose of raising funds through tickets sales. My personal goal of working together with the class was also fulfilled. In fact, it was through this time of project work, that I get to understand my classmates better than before, be it in terms of musically or personality.

One of the things I enjoy doing would be house visitation. I would love going to a friend’s place to see more from their family background and the circumstances they live in. I was privileged to be able to visit my co-video producer’s place to give some perspective to the video, as well as taking last minute shots of video that were cheesy and amusing. It was through this visitation that I found out that my co-video producer had two siblings, a brother and a sister. Otherwise, this ‘truth’ would have always been hidden from me.

Indeed, though it was only about 5 hours in his home, we managed come up with the raft framework of the video and get every resource we needed – the photos and videos taken from the jamming studio, and the videos recorded in his house – to complete our first draft of the video. With many sleepless nights of video editing and synchronising for my co-worker, the video was successfully completed and ready to be shown.

The event was itself was generally smooth and enjoyable. Although there were occasional glitches, the smooth running of the programme was not affected too badly. It was really encouraging to see many local bands and artiste performing that night for charity. Many or in fact all of them were unknown to me (since I had inferior knowledge towards local bands and artiste). I was glad to be able witness local artiste and bands with great potential to perform and expand the music industry of Singapore with their music.

On the whole, our project was considered successful considering that it is our first time we worked together as a class and I hope to have more opportunities working with the class again.

2. How did you / you and your group members feel about rendering the service / working on this project? Why?

I felt honoured to be able to serve in the area of photo taking, video recording during our preparation and sound recording during the performance. It was good to know that my niche area is being used to provide a service to raise fund for the Visually Handicapped.

When we were asked what our most important value was, one answered, “Love your neighbour as yourself”. I feel this is one example of being loving to other people the act of using what we have, what we have been given to benefit others who may not possess what we have, may not have opportunities like we do. Though loving other people does not merely apply to us loving the poor or disabled people, this is also one of the areas we can practice this value in our lives.

3. If you could go through your experience, what would you do differently or what do you think could have been done better?

Projection Echolocation though was rather successful, was also partly a result of poor planning, perhaps in terms of prioritising the different aspects of the event. I do not expect JC students to be perfect in this area of concert planning, given that it could their first time doing this. In fact, if it were the students’ first attempt, I would have quite impressed. Through this event, I believe there were many things we can learn about event planning through these glitches.

One result of poor planning could be seen in the attendance of the event. The turn out then was a disappointment for me, given that less than half of the seats in the auditorium were filled. One possible reason could be poor publicity or rather persuasion for the event. Another was the period where the performance was held.

I asked some of my HCJC friends about their knowledge of Project Echolocation, Many barely remembered it’s existence others were ignorant of it. Those who knew the event said that they would not be able to turn up for the event as they were going overseas.

The idea of having the event on Friday was good, as it is nearing the weekends and many are willing to stay up late, but perhaps the second week of June holidays, the holiday week for most of us, is not ideal for a performance with good turn up. This is one area we could learn about event planning, not just the importance of publicity, but the importance of considering general people’s schedule when planning a concert. Perhaps, having the event on a period where people are free and not likely travel would be ideal for our next gig.

4. What difficulties did you encounter and how were these resolved?

One difficulty I remembered was doing the mixing during the band’s rehearsal. The difficulty of balancing sound of our band because our guitars were constantly too loud no matter how much I brought them down from the mixer. There were complains of the vocals being too soft and the band not being able to hear themselves from the monitor speakers. We tried all means to bring the vocals up, but to no avail.

So, we took this step by step. First, we had the musicians to move towards the front of the stage, closer to the monitor. We figured that it was the guitar amplifiers that were too loud (to the extend they could be heard deafeningly in the auditorium). We had all our musicians lower their amplifiers and the drummer play softer. Next we did modifications to the signal such that we could balance the vocals and instruments separately from the mixer above and not together. All turned out well for our rehearsal, the sound was balanced to such that the trumpets, which were not mic up, can still be heard clearly when the full band played.

Sadly, the settings were messed up when the other bands came up to practice. Because of a very violent drummer, the amplifiers were blasted again and it was back to square one. I was very disappointed and frustrated for the change in setting after the hours spent to mix something perfectly. On my part, it was my mistake that I did not tell the musicians to remember the settings used and memorising it.

5. How do you feel about the feedback that you have received from others about your service / project?

It was a delight to hear compliments for our performance, even though I not directly involved in the performance. We were considered the best band of the night.

Michael Tan, our lecturer expresses his satisfaction in the way the performance was arranged and how the band coordinated well together. Personally, I feel very proud for the band. Despite only working with each other for less than 2 months, they have managed to gel with each other to the extend that the band can easily pick up when a member made a mistake during the performance.

I believe after Project Echolocation, we will have greater opportunities for future gigs and more opportunities for the class to work together again, both as Musicians or Technicians.

6. Describe some of the most important lessons that you / you and your group received from this experience.

Personally, I felt that this was one the most difficult times given to me to train my control of temperament and patience. At times, I wanted to criticise the audio technician for being over-protective over their audio-equipments and the sound crew for their ineffective sound setup. But thinking over it, I believe there were constrains that prevented the ideal setup. Moreover, scolding people who were of more experience than me only creates more trouble. I’m thankful for this time of testing to learn how to respect other people and their decisions, and to adopt a submissive attitude towards them.

Another lesson was the lesson on humility, and the lesson to be sensitive to other people. I remembered how I used to keep telling people how they should play for certain song, and what they should not. I admit that I was very harsh in my judgement, even though my intention was that of a suggestion. That apparently inflicted a heavy damage.

Once, I got off my seat to show the drummer how he could play the bridge for one of the songs. Apparently my action crossed the line. Halfway through the practice, he dropped his sticks, got off the chair and walked out of the room suddenly. We were all shocked and looked at each other with blank faces. A few of us formed a search party and found him in the hang out area. The drummer expressed to our bandleader that he felt he was inferior and not good enough to play drums for him.

Later, I approached him to apologise and return the watch he left in the jamming room, but was given the cold shoulder. From that day on, I learn to reserve comments to myself.

7. Which of your skills do you think you have developed while carrying out your service / project?

I certainly had great experience developing and apply my knowledge on sound. Indeed all that mixing was tiring, but it was through this time of mixing that I found many solutions to the many problems I encountered when mixing for live smaller live performance previously.

Another skill I acquired may sound simple, but it is the importance of communication skills between a sound technician and a musician. As a musician and a sound technician later in life, I found it a important skill to have in order for a good performance. I am glad to have this experience to work with experience performers like my bandleader who is patient to bear with my instructions, which tends to be unclear. Nevertheless, I develop my communication skills in every event I do sound for and I’m glad this is also one of them.

One thing I felt was enriching was talking with one of Luther Music’s sound crew as we watched the rehearsal ad sound check. I was given some tips on operating audio equipment like the mixer and also an insight to the economy of the audio industry and the tough life of being a stage crew and a sound technician.

It was also my first attempt to do live recording through a new part of the mixer called the Auxiliary Outputs, which is basically how people can transmit sound into a recording devices to record sound. Throughout the performance, I spent 50% of my time enjoying music and 50% troubleshooting on the mixer. It was my first time using my macbook to record a live performance, something which I always wanted to do, but not given the opportunity or equipment to.

8. What kind of training do you think you would need in order to do a better job?

Sound-mixing training would be very helpful in improving my skill set. One of the challenges was mixing the band during the rehearsal. It was challenging because I could not hear what the performers were hearing and thus had to depend on a headphone to mix. But through my trips on and off stage, I could not rectify the problem of unbalanced mix not matter how I rectify it.

After listening to the recording of the performance, I also realised how bad my mixing skills (balancing the volume of sounds) was. Of course, there were certain things beyond my control, because of the way the sound system was setup, but I failed to mix a good mix even at a basic level of vocals and music. Therefore, I hope to be able to develop my sound mixing skills to a higher level to do a proper mix for all to enjoy.

Life in Poly

It is a challenge to describe the first week in polytechnic.

It is fun because it is not only doing what you like to do, but also more so because you are doing it with many other great friends with similar interest. DMAT is a place where you can randomly sing out s song without anyone thinking you are mad. Since everyone is just as crazy about music as I am.

It is exciting because we will be working with people, some of which are outstanding in their own carriers, in DMAT’s case as Audio Engineers and musicians. Even some of my classmates has skills set comparable to that of industrial standard even before they came into DMAT. Working with these people will not only be easier or more efficient but exciting because we learn new things to what we have already know, sometimes learning how to apply some of our skills in our daily carrier lives.

But life is poly, is sometimes tiring, I can’t put the blame on boring lecturers or long hours of classes. For me, lessons starts at 8am every weekdays. It’s tiring, because I have to get used to waking up at 5.30am in the morning - which for most of the JC students, it’s a piece of cake – and getting ready to leave home by 7am LATEST

.

You might wonder why 5.30am.

1. Because, I don’t always wake up on time
2. Because I normally take a shower before I leave home so that I may not bring discomfort to my classmates with my stench
3. Because I hope to have a heavier breakfast so that I may survive lecture till 10am without being hungry – also given that I don’t eat breakfast as quickly as I do for lunch or dinner.
4. Because I hope to leave the house by 6.30am

• MRT – though the traveling time- 50 minutes - does not vary as much as buses do, but waiting time may become a factor of my delay in travelling time.

• Bus – though the traveling time can be shorter than that of MRT- 45minutes - the jam in the morning may increase traveling time by 30 minutes especially when there is an accident in the jam

• Taxi – though traveling time is the shortest – 30minutes – it is always my least preferred mode of transportation. Traveling from home to SP would cost me $12, meaning that I have to skip 4 meals in order to have enough allowance for the rest of the week!

So after all that has been said about tiredness, I guess it’s a matter of getting used to the shorter hours of sleep, and the long traveling time to school everyday in the morning.

But life in poly can be quite worrying at times, especially when you are told of all the assignments and project that is to come. I often wonder if I could manage my time in order to finish my work, despite having so many other assignments from different modules.

The scariest part about poly is when you start thinking that you are very free when you are suppose to be busy, one example would be when there are assignments to be complete but you are not aware if it. Most of the time, the ‘revelation’ comes when the deadline approaches or worst, reaches!

But there are times where there are really no homework at all, because poly is mainly about self-directed learning. Meaning that I should not expect a lot of homework from each module as most of my learning comes from my own research. Yes, it is true that SP tutors would give a lot of guidance to its students, but on our part, we have to be pro-active to sometimes go ahead of our lecturers and further explore certain areas of study. It looks like I have to self-teach myself certain things about Music technology like how I did for playing guitars and drums.

To make an attempt to describe poly life in one word, it would be ‘Independence’. Yes, we may have freedom to do what we like to do without anyone stopping us in poly, but more importantly we need to be ACCOUNTABLE – not just responsible- for our own lives in poly. But independence not in the way that I solo everything myself, but rather independence is managing my own things in poly well, so that I may also help others in these areas.

It’s not very easy to be accountable; in fact it is difficult, especially for someone like me, who is very passive – depending on someone or something to push me to do something. But I guess, in order that I may ’remain’ in the society of today, I will have to learn to be more pro-active, especially in doing the right things.

Just as it is challenging for JC students to live out a Christ-centered life, it is immensely difficult for me to live out one in poly. Poly may not be as hectic as JC with piles of tutorials and projects to finish – the challenge for me in poly is not with homework yet. Often of times, I find myself forgetting who I am as a child of God, as a member of God’s people.

I find difficulty in living out a Christ-centered life even when there are no assignments due. Many times during the week I find being very arrogant, boasting about what ‘numerous’ instruments I can play – taking all glory to myself. How dare I - knowing that this talent is not mine, but is God’s whom He gave to me and place me in this course that I may develop it and multiply it and use it for His own Glory, just like what the two servants with 5 and 2 talents did in Mathew 25:17-22 – boast freely about MY own talents when it is not even mine?! How dare I look down on other people, when I am not better or even worse off than these other people; to see a speck that is in other people’s eye and yet oblivious to the log in my own eye as in Luke 6:41.

There are many times I felt that I could have responded to these situations better. I was given so many chances by God to do the right thing, yet I chose not to. If there was a chance for me to apologize to those I have hurt, I pray that I might seize every these opportunities bravely to not only apologize but to be humble and seek help, if they can help. But importantly, I pray that God will forgive me in every failure to use so many opportunities so many times, to end up hurting even His People in my class.

I guess saying to live courageously and consistently for Christ, would be something too broad for me. Perhaps as I continue to be in poly, arrogance could be one of the areas I could work on. Perhaps, pro-activeness could be another. So to all readers out there, welcome to the start of my poly life.

Holidays---> Poly

To write about my feelings now? That would be the hardest thing to do now. Maybe excited that Poly Life is going to start this coming Monday? Maybe sad that my holidays are going to end? Maybe anxious as I am going have lots to do with SYFC PArts and Poly Life?

It's hard to say how I feel now, given that I tend to only focus on one thing instead of many things at the same time. Perhaps, it is a good thing as it shows that my ability to focus is good :P. But bad, because I neglect everything else when I focus on one thing too much. Perhaps this goes to show I not good at multi-tasking.

A JC friend of mine asked, "so how are ur holidays,"

I replied, "hahas...a great time of resting"

Well, I not laughing at him because he in JC with assignments pilling up while I'm at home slacking(not really slacking, but doing work at own pace). Just that I was grateful for his concern for me. Honestly speaking, I thank God for the 4 months of absence from school, I would really consider this time of holiday a time of resting despite having to be busy with MIMBY and REW, after all I am doing things that I love doing (Music and Sound) and getting learning experience from all this event, another thing I can thank God for!

I must say this 4 month of holiday really showed me how much God has blessed me. From a decent roof over my head to sufficient supply of food and finances, from family so loving to friends so trustworthy, these things I take for granted. The next step is then to consider how these things can aid my relationship with God, an later other people's.

Maybe God is revealing all this blessings to me for a purpose.

Maybe God wants me to see how He would continue to bless me even if the days in poly isn't easy. Maybe He is trying to show that I have everything needed for me to Live for him, and to die to self.

Maybe he wants me to use this blessing to benefit others who lacks these things.

Maybe he's showing me how I need to Trust And Obey him, to depend on him fully to live a God-pleasing life with whatever He has give me, knowing I depraved and nothing without Him.

How I wish I could appreciate the fact that this life I live in temporal, that there is a better live after this world, and therefore seek and reach out for it. How wish I can appreciate what God has done when he paid his life as a ransom to set us free. How I wish I could see the value of this relationship with God that reconciled when we are called Children Of God.

Living to please not myself but God isn't going to be easy, serving in SYFC has made my mother worried if I was going to survive in poly, given that I seem to always be so busy in my involvement(to her). I understand her worries, she is still not sure if I'm doing these things with peace in my heart, with a clear sense of direction. I wish I could show her that SYFC was where I made my first attempt to live life as true christian.

I think I probably have not lived out the christian live in my family, not showing any change to my life in comparison to how I have been living previously as a blind 'christian'. Well, in that case, it's time to Change! Easier said than done.

Living to please God and not yourself is easier said than done. there is lots to change in my life, just hard to decide which aspect to change.

Perhaps the aspect to do everything diligently for the Lord whether it pleases myself or not. One area could be learning the piano? :P Having learnt the piano for 6 years, there are numerous times I got really sick of the piano, to the extend that playing it makes me fall asleep. Well, piano isn't really the main problem itself i suppose, because this is not the case when playing pop songs or riffs on the piano, or even composing songs. Perhaps it is my hatred towards classical music? So once again to continue with classical music not and try to appease my frustration with something else, but to learn it faithfully, and diligently for the Lord, to show God's glory(hopefully through learning/doing something to the best of my ability even though I dislike it).

Well, this is only one out of so many other aspects to change, temper management, unity not individualism and integrity not deception. Of which I won't write it out now.

Sigh...as poly starts, I hope that even if life may often tempt me to do the things I like, I will do what pleases the Lord first. For what pleases the Lord, will somehow please me I suppose, doing things the way he had intended us to do, for when he created us, he saw that it was very good!

So yeah...if you can, do pray that:

• I might live not to please myself, but to please God
• Continue to love others especially my family members
• Continue to live a christian life consistently and courageously

We can't do things right on our own, that's why we depend on God to do the right things :)

Enrolment? SP?

Alright! Finally, my enrolment letter has come! This means I have got things to do:

1. Photo Form
2. Tuition Grant
3. Online Pre-Enrolment
4. Submission Of Financial Forms
5. Medical Checkup

I got a feeling I got myself into big trouble this time. Because I was suppose to submit my tuition grant form together with the photo form but apparently I submitted only the photo form without putting in the tuition grant application form, so it is either I find a way to get a white envelop and mail it to SP(thru SP or otherwise) or else I’m going to have to pay $8k+ for my course fees without tuition grant. Which means I will be bankrupt even before I can pay my fees, given my bank account balance can’t pay the fees with tuition grant. Hopefully, I can rush down to SP on Monday to get an envelope quickly, hopefully I can return back in time by 2pm for my piano lesson on Monday since submission date is on Tuesday 2 March, otherwise it would be after my piano lessons, and hopefully they do not close too early.

Enrolment done! It’s ideal to have enrolment done online, so convenient and easy to do enrolment online since I need not travel all the way to Dover and waste $2.60 and 2hrs of traveling money and time where it can be done at home within 45 minutes on your own. Enrolment also allow us the create SP email account, as if I am working in an organization. It’s really exciting yet a little weird, probably because I’m not used to having a working email and thus treated like an adult to know everything, indeed the next phase of live isn’t going to be any easier. In the Pre-enrolment, I was to fill up all particulars like citizenship, NRIC, Religion, Marital status, Occupation (if given a choice I will put servant of God :P), Number of siblings, housing type (tempted to put Zinc roof house), Gross Monthly income (of which I thought (<$300 was more appropriate), Contact information (which is a problem since I do not have a home phone and what was placed by default is my old hand phone number), and Medical/Physical conditions (which I wanted to include asthma though I recovered from it 12 yrs ago)

I will also be receiving my SP student Card, once again a feel of how it is like to work in an organization, to work as an adult, stress sia… so for those going SP to collect the student card it is 31 March 2010, 8:45am at the enrolment center. That means I will have to wake up at 6am in order to be in time!! For now, I will be waiting for my matriculation status which will probably be announced nearer to the enrolment date and get my tentative appointment for my collection of the student card…

Also, I think I may have my own SP email which should be leonteoyuyong93.10@ichat.sp.edu.sg.

What else? Oh yes, financial letters! Okay, this means I have to pay for my course fees L. It ain’t that bad with tuition grant but without tuition grant, it’s GG for my family’s finance. I wish Ang Mo Kio had a Standard Chartered Bank Branch then I dun have to travel to Thomson or Peace Center to go pay for my school fees, yup I have to pay my SP fees via standard chartered bank since I am not using my Edusave(which has a balance of 10% of my course fees…lol) or using a loan from banks(knowing that I might incur interest debts :P). I guess I will go down to the Peace Center Branch today to pay my fees before having my reunion dinner at Bugis and find a mailbox to mail my financial forms.

Ah lastly, the medical check-up, done it today at Thye Hua Kwan- Ang Mo Kio Hospital this morning, it’s been a long time since I last had X-ray, I used to have phobia of X-rays and always refused to go for an X-ray (at that time I did not even know X-rays could kill cells), which surprisingly not present today, thank God! Still, the aftereffects of X-rays are still present, will slight chest pain and discomfort which should be gone within a few day. I may even be radiating X-rays! :P Well, after paying $25 for an X-ray. I also had a medical checkup, where as usual they did an eye test and colour deficiency test, measured blood pressure, pulse and heartbeat rate. But I realized there was one common question which the staffs and doctors asked: “which course are you studying?” the strange part is, they the way they phrase their question were the same. I wondered if it was just by coincidence that they asked the same questions or there was a template to follow for them when speaking in Poly students during the checkups. But I suppose that doesn’t matter since I have done my medical check-up. I just have to wait for them to mail in my medical report form to SP then.

I seriously can’t wait to begin poly life, new challenges to face, new people to meet, and new opportunities to serve God too! Though there may be bad influences, discrimination, persecution, hatred, jealously in poly life. I pray that I may continue to stand firm in living out my Christian life for Christ, dying to self every day. It may be the toughest thing to do in poly given that the culture there. Then again it shouldn’t be surprising to experience this, after all “There’s no one righteous; not even one. There is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away.”

Poly life won’t be of a life of slacking, it appears to be quite slack as we have holidays on the period where JC students are having examinations and also because we spend more time doing hands-on things rather than sitting down to mug, appearing to do things which seems less mentally challenging when it’s both physically and mentally demanding, You may think, Music and Audio Tech students would either be their studio playing their instruments or playing with sliders on the mixer. No, there’s more to that meets the eye. I recently received an email from my bro’s friend studying the same course regarding a essay question. He was assigned an essay question which needed him to visit a concert, take down all equipment used (from Speakers and Mixers down to Microphones, types of cables and DI-units) and account for their usage purpose. He had to talk to the sound technicians and asked them questions about audio tech (hopefully make contact with them). This is only a small piece of theory work that’s done for the Audio Tech aspect of the course for first year students. I seriously dunno how hard the music aspect of this course would be as they are also introducing new subjects like Business of Music and Critical Reasoning skills. So who says poly life is slacking, said JC people are just busy with more paper work and a little practical work, while poly is busy with more practical work and less theory work. So JC and Poly Students both equally busy, just with different things.

I will also be joining the poly band in SYFC, which I may even get to apply what I learn in Poly into doing Tech work and music arrangements, cool! Though it’s only a once a week commitment, this commitment may also increase as mission trips and events draws closer. But I suppose that isn’t the problem with good time management. The only concern is my purpose of serving in poly band. Is it because I like music? Is it because I like doing Tech work? Is it because all my friends are there? Or is it because I hope to use my skills in Music and Audio Tech to serve God and aid in doing His work in the body of Christ? I pray that I may continue to be clear of my decision, not just in poly band, but in every decision in life that I will make in future.

So for my brothers reading this, can you:

• Pray that I will live out the gospel consistently and courageously, with strength that only He provides. Living for Christ, dying to self.
• Pray for good time management as I juggle time between poly work and poly band.

• Pray that I may find great Christian companions in poly to consistently encourage one another through trying periods of poly life
• Pray that I may be able to use my skills wisely for the Lord’s Glory.
• Pray that my hunger to know God personally will never fade because of my poly life.
• Pray that in all circumstances I may Always Remember, Never Forget God

So, before I end my post, those people to pang sek and never come for MIMBY, here's one part of the MIMBY show for you:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=326373265285

Enjoy!

JAE Posting Finally Over!!

Oh yea!!! Posting results are out. I’m glad the wait is finally over. So for those who are curious of where I’m going, it will be to Singapore Polytechnic to get a diploma in Music and Audio Technology (I prefer to call it Music Technology). Of course, that course is not just about doing stuff like mixing sound and recording, but it also allows us to compose music and produce them on our own. Now that’s cool (at least to me). After all, I have wanted to do such stuff since I had both background in music and sound so I suppose this course is really like made for ppl like me, who loves to do sound and music at the same time.

Problem is…further study. Lol…so far only three overseas universities offers a degree program in Music Technology: University of Queensland (AUS), Keele University and Lancaster University (UK). So if I want to/have to further study on this course, traveling overseas might be the only option unless Singapore opens its newer universities with this course (hopefully, that’ll be the case). Nowadays, it very hard for degree holder to get a job, to a diploma holder it’s harder. Perhaps even if I can get a job with my diploma, it will most likely be of a lower status. It doesn’t really matter whether I end up the CEO of Creative Sound works or a mere sound technician in a church, so long as these skills are used for the glory of God and not mine, and that my family’s necessities are met (which I believe it will be). Well, just have to prayerful about it and trust in the Lord that he will guide me with His Holy Spirit to do his work and fulfill his will.

I sometimes wonder if I was testing God to see what he will do to save me now that I’m in a course that appears to have no bright future for me. Since it is difficult to further study this course, it would just mean I would have gotten myself into trouble now that finding a job becomes harder (nearly impossible) and then crying out to God, expecting him to save me. It’s like jumping off from the top floor of Swiss Hotel and expecting God to send his angels to rescue me. Of course, if send help to me would glorify God in some way (I dunno how), he might do it. I joined this course, not just for interest sake, but in hope that I may use my passion and aspirations to serve God with my interest in Music and Audio Technology. But I know that won’t be enough. First of all, I have yet to give up my aspirations and passion all to God and seek Him and His Kingdom, to simply put it, to pick up my cross and die to self daily. It is difficult to sometimes give up some things that you worked so hard for in hope that you will attain success in these things you place your hope on. Would I be able to give up being a Musician and a Sound Technician to seek God? To consider these things as rubbish as compared to knowing God? If there’s no sitting on fences, my answer is simply a no. Yes, it’s a NO, even though I as a Christian must give up everything I am for the Lord. I am still struggling to do just that. It just simply to give up my life to Christ, and yet I can’t do that simple bit…it is TRAGIC!!!

But in all of these, I do pray for God to change me slowly, to one day be able offer up myself as a living sacrifice to Him with little or no hesitation. That day will come when Jesus returns. :)

Well, it is exactly 3 more weeks before Music In My BackYard!!!! Aka MIMBY!!!! Anyone interested to come along? We will be celebrating Valentine’s Day with a few songs from Backstreet Boys, Colbie Calliat, Taylor Swift and Kris Allen, also songs from Chinese artiste such as Tanya Chua and Stefanie Sun. We guarantee a night full of fun and laughter and a little gospel sharing, where friends come together to chill out and catch up over scrumptious food and be entertained by the live band, in a warm and cosy atmosphere. Just like the name suggests, MIMBY is held in the backyard, under the stars!

So do come and enjoy celebrating Valentine lie you never did before!! Well, at least for my sake, because I will be performing on the Acoustic guitar, and will feel lonely without any familiar audience to play to. :P

So the Details:

• What?

MIMBY: Shape of My Heart

• When?

Saturday, 20 February 2010 6:00pm – 10:00pm

• Where?

Bedok Lutheran Church, BackYard 485 Bedok South Ave 2

So those interested to come to have fun with us, do contact me via sms or email

If you have Facebook, do also make your RSVP at:

http://www.facebook.com/events.php?ref=sb#/event.php?eid=267359663010&index=1

• For more information/enquiries, visit:

www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=175619682057

• or email MIMBY at:

musicinmybackyard@gmail.com

See You There!

2010: A night before the release of O'level Result

O level results will be released tmr!!!

Lol...some say that it will be released at 9am, but my school is going to release these results at 2pm instead so it should keep everyone in longer suspense :P. But not for me, I wouldn’t mind if the results were released sooner or later, it’s strange that I dun seem to be worried about the results at all such that I find it hard to empathise with the rest of my friends anxiously waiting for the results, calling me and ask : “ So Leon, do you feel anxious that the results are going to be released?”

And my reply would be: “No, not really. I guess I have done my best for the O’s, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

Sometimes I wonder if what I said was true. Did I really do my best during the O’levels? Or am I saying that because there is no hope for the O’levels? It sometimes feels weird when you honestly ask yourself these questions. Well, it’s not that I don’t care about my results at all, I do, and in fact a lot, not only does it show me how I have fared for Secondary education but it also determine whether I get in to the courses I want in poly or alternatively the JCs I want (if I score 7 pts below) through the Joint Admission Exercise (JAE). Therefore, it is important that I get my results back.

I suppose the reason why I am not anxious fearful of my result is probably because there’s nothing really I can do much about my O’level results. I mean there is no way I can bribe the Cambridge markers to give me an A1 grade for all subject (even if there is I won’t -integrity). So with that, I shall just entrust my results to the Lord and know that he is always in full control every situation no matter how bad it is.

This past few months have been a very impactful period for most of us I suppose, for most of my friends, they have really changed in maturity since the last time I met them. Perhaps it due to their job experience that they turn from slackers to diligent workers. For others, it’s from muggers to couch potatoes worrying for their O’s – well at least they finally learned how to relax :P .

Well, for me, I have not been blogging for a extremely long time, not because I was trying to earn pocket-money, but rather I was ‘serving’ in the SYFC’s Performing Arts (PArts) ministry’s Short Serve in organising a mini-BBQ and a mini performance and ski put up by us for our friends, the event was called See A Clearer Christmas. In this, we hope to not only share the Christmas story aka Message aka Gospel to them but also to grow spiritually among ourselves as we work as bros and sis in Christ to do the work of God. For non-Christians need the gospel to be save while Christians need the gospel to grow. :)

Well, for the sharing part, it was a little disappointing because I did not exactly have a very good response there. Nevertheless, I know that it is not by our abilities that “convert” people into Christians but the Work of God in their lives. Intellectual wisdom does not produce faith but the Spirit is capable of changing hearts. The gospel has power and the gospel is power, we are just messengers who share the message just as it is and let the gospel do its work of transformation. So I pray for my friends that God will one day soften their hearts and open their minds to receive the gospel and be changed by it. :)

But I guess more importantly for myself, I have finally realised how I had been rejecting God this past few years of being a Christian, living my life without a true hope, blinded and fearful. That was when Randy (my boss) pulled me out after the event told me about my problem.

This is what I can roughly recall. He said, “I may not have known you as well as I know Seb and Alwin(my band mates), but from the time before short serve until now (end of short serve), I have seen them grow as Christians but I don’t see any of that in you...to put it explicitly, you love music, you love yourself more than you love God and Men. There had been many opportunities given to Love your fellow Christian (through talking with them I think during break time) but yet you chose do otherwise (to play the guitar during break time)...Leon, what’s stopping you from doing the right thing which God wants you to do.”

It can be seen as scolding but in a loving way – perhaps challenging me to think. I really thank God Randy did that or I would have been living my life and serving in church (as an audio technician) without a direction and purpose. This had always been the problem I had seen young, the fear of over commitments, fear of failures and mistakes and the need to be assured of my own confidence (meaning that I need ppl to tell me I’m good before I believe that I’m good). There also seem to be a barrier between my brothers and I as I tend to put on a ‘desired’ front to impress my bros to show my passion for Christ when I may not be. I have build this barrier in me, a barrier to hide my true self, a barrier to hide my weaknesses and appear to be superior to others, a barrier build by my own pride. This was why I was unwilling to share during devotions and sharing of fear that I might look bad in front of others. I had always wanted others to see me as a worthy person where in fact we are all of the same worth as God’s creation and people. Indeed, as I continue reflect on what I have been doing during this short serve, I realised that my focus was not on God. My focus was on playing music! All along I had used my service to God as a means to play music rather than using music as a means to serve God. Indeed, I loved music, I loved myself more than I loved God and loved my brothers and sisters and Christ.

I believe there were also other problems that I still have in me, of which some I may not know or may have forgotten, perhaps similar problems just shown in different context. To these problems there must be a solution right? So thus my New Year resolutions are:

1. Being honest with God, being honest with men

2. Putting my faith in God, rather than your own self confidence

Okay, basically being honest with God means to hide nothing from him, simply put it. Often of times, I would always hint to God that I wanted my own personal space to deal with my own personal problems by myself, often rejecting the help he offers me because I did not want to depend on God’s help (perhaps thinking that I have not played my part in my own problems when God comes to help). I always wanted to do things on my own before seeking for help if things go beyond my control---which often leads to failures. Because of this I was afraid of failing, afraid that I would lose face and lose my worth as Leon. Thus, I sometimes put up a strong front in front of others to cover up for my weaknesses, thus also being dishonest with men. To do so, I must first acknowledge that I need help and SEEK help from God, in prayer and petition, being willing to humble myself in front of God to know I cannot make it without God. From there, I will then be more willing to seek help from older bros in Christ to help me with my problems, as mentioned above. Another perspective I look at this would be also sharing these problems to peers with the same interest, to allow them to learn from my mistakes, my sins and thus also encourage one another to continually grow in Christ.

Putting my confidence on God is something I learned during a lunch meeting with Moses (my Bible Study leader). I shared to him about how I was worried that I was not ready to receive a Bible Study (BS) contact, basically not ready to be a BS leader because of the problems I have, as mentioned previously, about how I was unable to do God’s work naturally.

That was when he asked me, “How long does it take for one to learn how to be a true Christian?”

“A lifetime,” I replied

And indeed, it is true. As the Chinese saying goes “活到老，学到老” (live till you’re old, learn till you’re old). Indeed we grow as a Christian so long as we continue to live as one. That’s why we always need the Gospel, to grow. I realised that I usually dared not try new things, like leading in a BS group or sharing the gospel because I did not have the confidence to, in contrast to music where all my confidence seems to be found. Thus, in things we are called to do that we feel that we aren’t good at, we should learn to trust in the Lord that he will continue to guide us slowly and transform us to be more Christ-like in accordance to His plan for us, thus relying on Him and His word to change us daily and not on our own strength, for we ourselves can never reach God’s standard with our own abilities.

So for the year 2010, whether I will end up in Music and Audio Tech or Audio-Visual Tech or even JC. I will to continue to trust in the Lord that he will not just ‘groom’ me into a better Christian, but to slowly reveal himself to me through His word, that I will be honest with Him and His People, Rely on His Power to do His work and to live a life of a Redeemed Chao Lang*!

*Chao Lang(smelly man)- a person who cares for himself only

After the O'levels?

YAY!!!!!

O'levels are over!!!!

but it's funny how come I still a little exam stress...lol. maybe I'm juz not used to the holidays yet...or else just worried about my results already... still, I'm really looking forward to my birthday on the 20th Nov, indeed I have just received my early birthday present this year from God : A Sennheiser Infra-red Headphones IS380 !!!

Now that's cool. Since no wires are involved in the process, I won't have to worry about messy wires lying around the house, all I have to do is charge a VA151 accupack and it is ready to be used!

well, how I got it, well I just went to our school's Graduation Night and won it in a lucky draw! nice, it is like the first time I won a lucky draw so I'm like exhilarated, but I suppose God wanted to give me my 16th birthday present that I won the 20th prize and no because I got lucky today, after all, I was never in a lucky draw...

of course today was one of the most sentimental days as it will be the last time we get to see each other this year, at least for me as I will most probably not meet up with them during the release of the O'level result, where there will be more of tears of joy and sorrow rather than tears of getting to meet up with each other again.

well, my holiday is going to be a very busy one, it won't be long b4 I will be moving into a new house soon, and get my VERY OWN BEDROOM and MY VERY OWN privacy, as all teenagers desires although of course my family members are welcomed into my room so long as they can bear with the colour orange...:P why orange? cuz it's my favourite colour(it makes my room so bright that visitors would probably go blind and never dare to step foot into my room unless of course they don't mind the colour...). so for those who wants to check out my new house or my new room pls come to me personally. (unsafe to type address here)

well, packing and moving things to the new house does not make my holiday a busy one. after all, I have already finished packing my stuff yesterday. It's me participating in short serve in Singapore Youth For Christ(SYFC) that makes it busier. indeed, I would really hope to gain more knowledge and more experience in the area of evangelism and also partially on other areas like fellowship, prayer and worship...I think, cuz I believe there is more to that than meets the eye. yup, this period in short serve will be 'full of surprises' as seb told me and I seriously don't know what to expect in SYFC, particularly in the section of the performing arts, so I will be meeting a SYFC member, Randy, in hope to gain enlightment when he shares his expriences and work out a schedule that will hopefully fit my timings during the holidays...well, just to let you know, I am actually interested to join the performing arts group in SYFC and thus I am having lunch with randy to work out my rehearsal schedules. hope things would go well for the both of us.

other than that, I am also in the logistic team for our Student Fellowship(SF) year-end retreat, which reminds me that I have to contact Genevieve to find out how's progress so far for the logistics team, it's only a few more weeks b4 the retreat itself, so I getting ready to go shopping for props and items...and probably go on a market research for the best food prices(although food prices are still high). Nevertheless, preperations for the SF retreat must be made in order for our retreat to be held smoothly (can't image us going without food during the retreat).

Another upcoming thing would be the christmas event comiong up on the 23 of Dec, so far I have approach a few friends who either gave me a cold shoulder or juz said that they MIGHT be coming, so I hope to get in touch with them to confirm their attendance and hopfully take this chance to share the gospel with them since it is after the O'levels and also after short serve. By then I should be fully-equipped with the knowledge and skills in order to evangelise effectively, unless I don't patyattention to the talks and sermons(which I hope that's not the case).

so pray that:

• for God's guidance and wisdom to allow me to manage my holiday time well
• That I may be able to brace myself for any challenges that I face during the short serve
• Chirstmas event to be meaningful to these friends and pray that God will soften their hearts for them to hear God's word
• I will still praise God regardless of the O'level result I receive next year
• God will grant me the strength and wisdom to decide on which academic route to take (JC or poly) and allow me to adapt to that environment

oh and b4 I forget, the answer to the last Song Rec Test:

and your next challenge..lol:

song rec13.mp3 -