Holidays---> Poly

To write about my feelings now? That would be the hardest thing to do now. Maybe excited that Poly Life is going to start this coming Monday? Maybe sad that my holidays are going to end? Maybe anxious as I am going have lots to do with SYFC PArts and Poly Life?

It's hard to say how I feel now, given that I tend to only focus on one thing instead of many things at the same time. Perhaps, it is a good thing as it shows that my ability to focus is good :P. But bad, because I neglect everything else when I focus on one thing too much. Perhaps this goes to show I not good at multi-tasking.

A JC friend of mine asked, "so how are ur holidays,"

I replied, "hahas...a great time of resting"

Well, I not laughing at him because he in JC with assignments pilling up while I'm at home slacking(not really slacking, but doing work at own pace). Just that I was grateful for his concern for me. Honestly speaking, I thank God for the 4 months of absence from school, I would really consider this time of holiday a time of resting despite having to be busy with MIMBY and REW, after all I am doing things that I love doing (Music and Sound) and getting learning experience from all this event, another thing I can thank God for!

I must say this 4 month of holiday really showed me how much God has blessed me. From a decent roof over my head to sufficient supply of food and finances, from family so loving to friends so trustworthy, these things I take for granted. The next step is then to consider how these things can aid my relationship with God, an later other people's.

Maybe God is revealing all this blessings to me for a purpose.

Maybe God wants me to see how He would continue to bless me even if the days in poly isn't easy. Maybe He is trying to show that I have everything needed for me to Live for him, and to die to self.

Maybe he wants me to use this blessing to benefit others who lacks these things.

Maybe he's showing me how I need to Trust And Obey him, to depend on him fully to live a God-pleasing life with whatever He has give me, knowing I depraved and nothing without Him.

How I wish I could appreciate the fact that this life I live in temporal, that there is a better live after this world, and therefore seek and reach out for it. How wish I can appreciate what God has done when he paid his life as a ransom to set us free. How I wish I could see the value of this relationship with God that reconciled when we are called Children Of God.

Living to please not myself but God isn't going to be easy, serving in SYFC has made my mother worried if I was going to survive in poly, given that I seem to always be so busy in my involvement(to her). I understand her worries, she is still not sure if I'm doing these things with peace in my heart, with a clear sense of direction. I wish I could show her that SYFC was where I made my first attempt to live life as true christian.

I think I probably have not lived out the christian live in my family, not showing any change to my life in comparison to how I have been living previously as a blind 'christian'. Well, in that case, it's time to Change! Easier said than done.

Living to please God and not yourself is easier said than done. there is lots to change in my life, just hard to decide which aspect to change.

Perhaps the aspect to do everything diligently for the Lord whether it pleases myself or not. One area could be learning the piano? :P Having learnt the piano for 6 years, there are numerous times I got really sick of the piano, to the extend that playing it makes me fall asleep. Well, piano isn't really the main problem itself i suppose, because this is not the case when playing pop songs or riffs on the piano, or even composing songs. Perhaps it is my hatred towards classical music? So once again to continue with classical music not and try to appease my frustration with something else, but to learn it faithfully, and diligently for the Lord, to show God's glory(hopefully through learning/doing something to the best of my ability even though I dislike it).

Well, this is only one out of so many other aspects to change, temper management, unity not individualism and integrity not deception. Of which I won't write it out now.

Sigh...as poly starts, I hope that even if life may often tempt me to do the things I like, I will do what pleases the Lord first. For what pleases the Lord, will somehow please me I suppose, doing things the way he had intended us to do, for when he created us, he saw that it was very good!

So yeah...if you can, do pray that:

• I might live not to please myself, but to please God
• Continue to love others especially my family members
• Continue to live a christian life consistently and courageously

We can't do things right on our own, that's why we depend on God to do the right things :)